a friend caught me in ym few minutes ago. then she asked me how i was? and how my heart was.. wala lang, i was dumbfound. can’t answer honestly but i didn’t lie either. just told her na i’m doing everything i can to survive – kinakaya ko, to be exact. it was the safest thing to say. i don’t want anybody worrying about me.

then it hit me. i really have no choice but to try to get by. one step at a time. living one effin’ day at a time, just like what my header says.

it’s like do or die. but to me, it seems like while i’m doing, i’m dying.

and it’s really hard to die alive, if you know what i mean.