yes, i think i just died today. oh wait, let me rephrase that. i felt that i died today. my life’s officially over and though it’s against my will, i have to move on and start a new one. but see, i don’t know how. i don’t know how to move on. yes, i can buy all the books that provide tips on moving on or anything of that sort but hell, i’m not even sure if i can do it. i don’t know where and how to start. i don’t know how to start living without xyz.

yes, he broke up with me. and i don’t know how to get up. i’m clueless.

i’ve never felt so lost like this before. i want to start my quest on finding myself but where do i begin? and how do i do it? i felt like a part of me has died when he asked me to let him go. but what choice do i have? i don’t want to be selfish and deprive him of what is really his in the first place. i’m trying to comprehend everything. i’m trying to understand.

i’m trying. and it’s fucking hard.

it turned out that the saga ends at episode 2, which is a good thing. it was sorta relieving coz i don’t wanna think and wonder if my dreams meant something. gaaaad, i’ve so much in my mind already and i don’t need another mind bugger. HOWEVER, i saw him in my dream. i can’t remember the dream though but i know he was part of it.

one thing i can recall from my dream is that i was talking to a psychic-slash-fortune-teller about my f*cked up love story. she was trying to help me get a piece… ah i mean PEACE of mind.

dreams… dreams… they’re not helping me.